Attempting to update my LJ. It's been two years. I promise I'll be a better poster this time around.

My new news - I have a wonderful, wonderful guy named Tim. He's kind of my life savior. We've been together for well over a year now. In order not to repeat the same mistakes as with whatshisface, we're taking it slow. Or maybe it's just not mistakes - that guy was fucked up to begin with, as was that relationship. It's weird, having a normal relationship. That involves David Bowie and CLAMP. You know, normal.

I still work at the same old FedEx Office. It's mostly just a job at this point. I hate it.

Next convention is Ohayocon. Who will I see~?

I started off this day with a massive migraine. Somethings actually do not change!

www.cosplay.com/marketplace/showcat.php/cat/500/ppuser/28926

Hey guys, I know some of you are just LJ peeps - which is fine :) But I thought I'd put up my wig sale up here too. I really would like all of these go so I can have some money to my name ._. damn banks suck. But yeah, take a look!

Also yeah,

colanders

uh yeah I am rocking ETERNAL SNOW MOTHERTRUCKERS

Dang ya'll, sorry about not adding some people - apparently they don't like to tell me when people add me as a friend, wtf I hate you livejournal.

Otherwise I'm ok. Gonna dedicate actually being on this thing more often. Also seriously gonna update moonramen with Miss Cori, so we'll see where that goes!

Oh yeah and BAM HUMBUG I really wanted to go with everyone to Cleveland next weekened. Screw my life ._.

Guys,
La'Cryma Christi is reuniting.

Guys,
La'Cryma Christi is reuniting.

GUYS,
LA'CRYMA CHRISTI IS REUNITING.


....WITH JIKO.

casanovas & junnokoneko... you know what we must do.


La'Cryma Christi Supermarket ;_;

Expediently!

Someone buy me THIS and THIS, preferrably now~~

I LOVE HOLIDAY SCENTED STUFF. HALLOWEEN, FALL, THANSKGIVING, CHRISTMAS, CHINESE NEW YEAR... BRING IT, SRSLY.

Will return with hugs, kisses, bjs, teabags, whatever.

Realize I hadn't posted in awhile, so I guess I should!

I have nothing to say about Michael, because he is not in my life anymore. So I don't really wish to talk about him, manly because I have nothing good to say either. So I'm taking the Bambi route. I can only imagine how much he's been badmouthing me though. I have to upgrade my life at some point.

Went massive shopping these past two days. Bought some new clothes, bought fabric for my costumes for Sugoi, bought SO MUCH STUFF at Bath & Body Works, and the ultimate luxury was signing up for the Facial Event at my LUSH store. So Kristi and I received some facials, woo. Bought the usual, but also bought a pot of the Catastrophe facial mask. Jeez LUSH. Still can't justify $40 for a pot of moisturizer though. I've gotta draw the line somewhere.

Still need to purchase wigs for Sugoi. Still need to send Cori money for a new phone. Still needing to do quite a bit money-wise.

This really nice but creepy lady gave me coupons as I was getting my fabric cut. I ended up saving $40. Crazy nice.

What should have been $85 at Bath and Body ended up only being $30 - they have this stupid amazing event of buy 3, get 3 free - and then in-store, they have spend $15 get an item of equal value. So I ended up getting 7 items. Seriously. I am good on body wash for awhile, heh.

Ate at Olive Garden. Unlimited pasta bowl is an amazing deal. Amazing. I should look into the leftovers.

In all honesty what I really want to do right now is drink myself to sleep. The glass of wine I had at Olive Garden was pretty good, but didn't do anything for me except taste good, lol.

WHY HELLO THERE LUSH I DO BELIEVE I WOULD CHOOSE YOU!

And yes, yes I would.

UHM. casanovas. THIS. THIS IS FOR YOU. WATCH THIS. IT GETS GREAT AT 3:35. WATCH ALL OF IT. YOU'LL LOVE IT.

Kay Howard, duh.

It's come to this.

I got my haircut though. Had a great day yesterday hanging out with Michelle, Erin, and Nick, doing things. Fun times.

But now it's come to this. Michael thinks I am "That Girl"ing pretty hard. That he thinks that all I do is speak ill of him behind his back, and that I don't actually have his back in anything, and think the worst of him. That although I want our relationship to work out and stay together forever, he says that the actions he THINKS I do will never have us together. Ever.
That he values my opinion pretty much over everyone else's opinion (HA), and he'd be pretty hurt if I didn't actually "have his back", but just said I did.
Oh and also the relationship is always my fault.

Some of it is kind of true. Most of it is not.

Friends, I need honest opinions. Never in my life have I felt so conflicted, so torn both ways. One side of me wants to hate him forever, just up and leave this hellhole, leave him behind and never have to see him again, ever. Never think well of him and air out all of his dirty laundry so that everyone else hates him too, and people realize all of the suffering I've had to go through with him. The problem with that though, is that I'd be leaving all of you behind, too. Never going to cons around here or anything ever again, and just starting a new life, somewhere else. I've seriously thought about this before.

The other side of me... still loves him. More than anything. Wants everything to work out. Wants to be with him for the rest of her life. Wants everyone to realize that although he is a self-proclaimed asshole, he isn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be. That he is truly trying to change his ways...just being damn stubborn about it. That he DOES care, he cares too much infact. That she still gets a huge smile on her face when he comes home from work, or hangs out with her. That she believes him when he says he wants the girl he loves back. The girl who believes him when he tells her those things.

I don't know what to do. Post anonymously if you'd like, everything is screened. I really need answers. Figuring things out on my own just makes me depressed either way. I want what I want to make me happy...and nothing's working.

We're having a talk tonight. I'm deathly afraid to say anything, either way.